Why marriage is hard;
I think about this a lot but have a hard time talking about it. I always feel like I am failing as a wife if I complain about my husband or think about the way things could have been. But at the end of the day I am always happy where I am and happy with Jeffrey.
Point is, marriage is hard. One of the biggest things that make it so hard is the permanency of it. Jeff and I have gotten into some pretty big fights. If he was just my boyfriend, I have no doubt we would have broken up and moved on. But because we are married and have been together for over 2 years, you can’t do that. You can’t break up. We have to stay and work it out. There have been so many times when I just want to strangle him and walk. But I can’t. He is my husband. At the end of the day I love him more than anything and I know that a lot of frustration comes from being so young and so much growing up we have to do together and a lot of it we have different views on and coming to a compromise is something we are both really working on.
Also, being broke also adds to this list. We need 2 cars. But we can’t afford 2 cars and I don’t see the point in getting a cheap car that is going to brake down all the time and something we will consistently be pumping money into. Jeff doesn’t mind. I would rather have a little bit of debt and get a nicer car that I will have for years. Compromise is waiting until we have money to do this. Which I agree is completely fair.
& then there is the fun issue of moving out. We need to. Really bad. But now that Jeff has Maddex, he has pretty much committed his whole summer to a West Coast tour and another 2 week tour in September. If we moved out, I can’t afford 3 months worth of rent on my own. We need jobs to do this. So we have to wait until he starts making a consistent income from Maddex to do this, unless I get really blessed financially and my job makes me plenty of money to do everything.
We just need to find some common ground and get some money saved up, after the stang gets all fixed up of course. Jeff can get a job, I will hopefully get my job on Saturday and maybe by summertime with some miracle we can afford to get a 2nd car and move out.
So frustrated. OMG.
If you aren’t going to go to work because you have too much homework, then fine.
But don’t stay home from work and then go hang out with friends.
We can’t fucking afford that.
-__-
Some sex would be just wonderful right now.
Ahhh, the life of a wife married to a gamer. I want to be upset, but I love Jeff too much.
Sooooo,
today I was broken.
I ate a lot of chocolate, drank a lot of coffee, ate a waffle then had more coffee and some mac and cheese.
If nothing else, the food coma I am experiencing is a nice distraction from the emotional pain.
I don’t really know where I am going to go from here but I guess we will see what happens.
All I can do is move forward.
I don’t want to leave anything with anyone on bad terms. It kills me.
But like I said, tomorrow is a payday, so I can get some stuffs and have some retail therapy. Also, get my cat some food before he starves. -_-
ARGHHHH!
I am so emotional and moody!
I could shoot myself in the uterus right this second.
Someone get me some advil. :)
“I forgot” only counts so many times.
But when you “forgot” everything, it eventually turns into “I don’t care”.
So you know what?
I don’t care either.
Be grateful!
I must say this is the first year that I had no expectations for Christmas and it was wonderful! Everything was a surprise (except mine and Jeff’s iPhones, that we got early December).
I didnt make a list, and I definitely wasn’t disappointed when I opened my presents :) I was just happy to be with my family, regardless of what was under the tree.
Merry Christmas to my mom, my grandma, my uncle Gary and the Larsons. All of whom I didn’t celebrate with for various reasons.
Seeing all these kids online complaining made me really upset. That isn’t what Christmas is about at all. Yeah, Jeff and I got iPhones, but we needed new phones on a new plan.
We are all blessed in our own way and I just want everyone to realize that.
Merry Christmas everyone!
